Emotional Wellbeing

The recent suicide case of one my favourite young actress disheartened me and stirred up my mind a lot. Such an extreme step is definitely an outcome of immense pain, loneliness and sense of failure.

Our generation can empathise with the situation in a better way. Majority of us have been given the freedom of speech and decision making by our parents. We have been allowed to choose our career paths, our lifestyle and our companions. This freedom is definitely a boon but sometimes I wonder whether this is a bane in disguise. When decisions are taken independently brunt of the consequences is assumed to be borne individually.

With current education pattern and technological upsurge, exposure in every field is immense. Young individuals believe they have all required knowledge to take their decisions. My 6 yr kid is so particular about her choices that since last two years i have stopped selecting dress for her. Her hairstyle ,her costume ,her shoes, in all matters she has her own fixed choices. This is the case with majority of them. So it’s no wonder that once their basic schooling is over they will be taking all their decisions.Independence in decisions brings upon responsibility associated with it. Whether it is career or lifestyle every decisions entails good and bad side effects. Kids are taught to be smart ,strong  and active. Physically and mentally we all are active and alert.But how about emotional health or emotional intelligence or EQ???

All parents are so conscious about overall development of kids. Co curricular and extracurricular activities are integral part of routine .Parents leave no stone unturned. But is our society equally conscious about emotional development. In some households the atmosphere of the house is such that children develop emotionally. They are well trained to recognise different actions, their reactions and response of mind to different situations rationally and objectively. But not all kids are so lucky. Many people who are well qualified, well brought up and well settled in life may be emotionally mentally much weak. We have seen diseases like diabetes ,bloodpressure,heartattacks ,infertility ,PCOS on the rise.Stress is the common factor inducing many unwanted problems. Every other individual some or the other day is frustrated ,stressed or under pressure.

As a child I remember we never saw our parents frustrated or stressed up. They too might be having their share of struggles, fights and conflicts. But it never reflected in day to day life. I guess this was due to close family system, good social network, less expectations, simple lifestyle and above all happiness in small things. I wonder whether our dadis and nanis ever used the term PMS or postpartum depression.They always looked happy, energetic and busy in their lives. Multitasking,multiple children,multiple festivals,relatives visiting,social gatherings..everything was there. But without worries and frustrations.

My thought process has made me realise that high level of expectations from self is the main cause of stress. Good education and exposure leads to high dreams and multiple goals. That is very good for being self motivated. But in achievement of these goals we fail to acknowledge that 2 plus 2 is not four in real life. We are ready to take responsibility of our decisions. We assume we are independent and capable of handling all situations. But sometimes in the tussle of life we get exhausted emotionally. Physically we can take rest but emotionally we might not be able to cope up in life’s journey.

Many of us in tough situations need to talk up. Parents are the best pillars of strengths in such situations. They know us in out. But many times we hesitate to disturb them. We don’t want to put them in worry by our problems. New generation have new set of problems which may not be recognised by elder generation. Our partners are our best confidants. But due to time issues they might not always be available or many a times we might not be able to make them understand the real problem .Next level is siblings and friends. Sometimes the problems are too personal and concern is of these people being judgemental. As a result most of the emotional stress is ignored and baggage of it is carried forward day and night. The problems may be small like child’s behaviour, quarrel with friend, irritability or big like job dissatisfaction, drug addiction, partners incompatibility ,financial instability. But in absence of communication and proper address, these issues are piled up. People try techniques like meditation, hobbies, vacations to take a break and refresh .but sometimes the confusion, the trauma is so strong that the problem starts taking toll on physical health and wellbeing.

Here I feel we need strong social support system to come into role play. Emotional health is primary for sustaining in this high tech world full of different kinds of competition and pollution. There is need of individuals who are mature, patient, having good rationale and objectivity. We need individuals who can be trusted and who can provide vision and directions in tricky situations. We can have multiple voluntary centres where experienced people or experts like counsellors can offer training, guidance or solutions to people. Sometimes in tricky situation what is needed is patient listening, unbiased opinions and Professional guidance. Even a simple conversation with a mature sensible individual can work wonders for depressed soul. Prevention is better than cure. In case of acute depression individuals can be advised for timely medical help. Even nutritional and lifestyle changes can bring difference in emotional wellbeing if properly understood. If such help centres are easily accessible individuals won’t have to carry the baggage day in day out. Visiting psychiatrist has still some taboo associated with it in many sections of society. But time has come for us to recognise the importance of emotional well being..If such kind of help is readily available people will definitely start recognising and addressing mental problems .I remember in our childhood there used to be sanskaar warg(small daily evening sessions)where  grandmother used to make us play small games, recite shlokas and tell some stories having great morale. If we can have these sessions our kids will be more grounded, well mannered and emotionally balanced. They can be trained to accept success or failure gracefully, to speak up ,express their thoughts openly without disrespecting people .

With small changes around we can see increased level of peace, satisfaction and happiness for sure.

Poor or rich, educated or illiterate, man or women, child or aged, all individuals need someone to be there to look up to ,to support to speak up. If this is not found in inner circles what’s the harm in establishing and reaching out to support centres. Inhibition leading to depressed life is of no use. Life is precious, each day each hour is valuable. No problem in life can be bigger  than our wellbeing. So friends let’s  try to shed away our baggage, speak up ,support all to have a peaceful and happy life.